Doggy Dating - Swipe Right on Dogs Near You
Written by: Sophie Taylor
New dogs in your area this week! My phone lights up to alert me and I discretely tap the app to find out more.
Meet Max: a young and energetic lover of long walks with a penchant for rabbit liver and cuddles. Sound appealing? He’s also got 90’s style floppy hair and will slobber all over your face on the first meet. Hells yes. Max is just one of the dogs featured on borrowmydoggy.com, the dog meeting site that brings together busy owners and dogless pooch-obsessives in a beautiful and mutually beneficial arrangement.
You’ll have to create a profile with a bio that doesn’t sound too creepy, before having it verified with all your credentials. Then you can browse the catalogue of local ‘talent’, giving a cheeky heart to your faves (that’ll be all of them then). Hopefully, you’ll receive a message from one of your chosen hairy suitors organising a first doggy date. If you get to this stage (nice one babez!) choose somewhere busy and public – a nearby park is a good place to start, but you can also feel safe knowing that all members have to be verified with bank card, mobile phone and other security details.
Tindog is slightly different in that you’ll need your own furry best friend to join. It works just like its human-centric app namesake Tinder, as you have to swipe through a catalogue of members to collect your favourites. Whether it’s for your lonely dog or for your lonely old self (no judgements here, we’re talking about London after all) you can make the choice while you sign up.
Once you’ve entered your dog’s age, gender, breed and picked the most flattering pics of your pedigree chum (action shot, tiger pic, mirror selfie), you might be starting to feel more than a little bit pimpy. But think of the rewards! Once you get a match you can start to chat, share photos and schedule meetings with other weirdos just like you. So, playing your cards right, you and your bestie are basically signing up for double dates in the park. Sweeeet.
When I signed up to date local canines, I have to say I was hella nervous. Waiting in Clissold Park for some stranger to arrive with the potential love-of-my-life on a lead was awkward as arse. How could I play it cool having just gasped over photos of the beautiful fluff ball that morning? I’d even brought a couple of Schmacko treats along in my pocket.. weird? Like, dogaphile weird?
But when my dream date arrived, all was well. I was greeted with love and fluff and excited whimpers. Max’s ‘mum’ and I sat on a bench and discussed his history, his breeder, his temperament and training (imagine doing this on a human date). Then we went for a walk and I held the lead (weeh!) while we talked about our own backgrounds and training. She was a script writer whose husband she had just left because he didn’t allow her to have a dog. I was impressed. She sensed Max was getting bored of her working from home every day and he needed a new friend, more excitement in his life. I felt like I was being interviewed as a mistress but I went along with it.
A week went by and we’d loosely arranged to meet again. But nearer the second date, all went quiet. I got dog ghosted.
Want to know the real kicker? Dog dating works exactly like human dating. You’re probably not the only one they’re seeing and you might be kicked to the curb in the process. Which I was with Max.
But you know what else? There’s plenty more dogs in the park. Ahem.
